We went all out and booked the second cheapest all inclusive resort in Montego Bay. The beach was gorgeous. The hotel was dated but adequate. The food sucked. Service was hit and miss. The location was right in town. We stayed at the SeaGarden Beach Resort. We had a huge group of parents, aunts, uncles and siblings. One love, mon.
Many days were spent lounging on the white sand beaches and swimming in the crystal clear waters. We tried hotel amenities like paddle boarding and kayaking. The beach bar was decent and had burgers and jerk chicken. Except one day they ran out of vodka. Totally unacceptable. I can’t remember actually enjoying a meal from the buffet. There were edible items but the only entree I loved was a pasta station outside one evening with a 40 minute line. The lady behind us was quite drunk so she kept us entertained during the wait.
We did a day trip towards Ocho Rios. We were travelling with our Jamaican friend who hired her family member to get a huge van and drive us around. Our first stop was the Green Grotto Caves. Admission was a reasonable $20 for adults, $10 for kids (USD). We donned hard hats, hair nets, and wandered paved paths below the earth’s surface to check out cool rock formations and an underground lake. There were some stairs and tight spots to crawl through in the limestone caves.
Next we hit up Dunns River Falls in the Jamaican jungle. Admission to the park was $25 for adults, $17 for kids (USD). We headed straight to the bottom of the 963 ft waterfall as the kids were eager to make the climb up the giant natural stairs. Small lagoon pools are found at points during the rocky, uneven climb. Water shoes are recommended. I considered braving the trek but was worried about killing myself and leaving orphaned children. Luckily Auntie Steph is still young and fit so the kids were able to tag along with her. I can’t believe Uncle Brian made it up alive. You can enter the hike at various points. Matt took advantage of this option half way up when he got fomo. Auntie Brit and I went in the natural pool at the bottom for a hot second but it was super slippery and cold. I am a princess so this was short lived. We took a quick stop at the small water spray park and grabbed a bite to eat. We walked through the high pressure sales market. I was separated from Matt and the kids at one point and located them getting talked into all sorts of ridiculous purchases which I then had to fight off. Other amenities included a beach and ziplines ($$). You could easily make a full day of it at this park if you were so inclined.
My favourite excursion was the glass bottom boat and snorkeling. The vessel picked us up right from the hotel’s dock which was super convenient. The Captain gave us some kind of group discount for a cheap, short, tour. If we were to do it over I would have paid a bit more $$ for the kids to have more time in the water. It was their first time snorkeling and they loved it.
The pools and pool bar were great. The snack bar here had amazing wraps, Jamaican patties and pizza but was often painfully slow. This was fine if you mentally prepared yourself and polished off a few blended beverages while you waited. The kiddos spent days in the pool. People openly smoked ganja while chillin like villains. There was a show every evening. Shops were close by and had trippy reggae merch.
We all had a yasso nice time. We breathed easy. Leveled. Naah mean, mon?!
FEBRUARY 2024
KIDS AGES: 8 and 10 years old
paRty of 4 