No one better rat me out. If this is the thing that finally lands me in jail I’ll be pissed. I always assumed it would be something alcohol related instead.
This trip was during the height of the Covid restrictions. We had been banned from crossing provincial lines, so we chose to do a local stop in Yale which is a couple hour drive from our homes. Then, like a week before we were set to leave, the powers that be introduced a new restriction. There were some imaginary lines drawn on a map and Yale was about 20 clicks past our allowed travel area. Unless you were travelling for work as an essential worker.
Luckily my industry is electrical transportation. This is, of course, essential to the logistics and safety of the population. I immediately doctored up a letter for our group of family members that I had just hired to conduct infrastructure planning at the house rental conveniently located near one of our job sites. It’s true the group was slightly larger than the 6 person bubble the government had demanded, but we had no choice. Roadwork safety was on the line!!
This house was fucking gorgeous. Ciulla Vista is a massive 8 bedroom chalet on 2 acres. The hosts were great. It’s about 20 minutes from Hope, BC. There’s a playground, tire swing, treehouse and chickens.
Yale is small, quiet town. Much like Grandma’s family, its settlement dates back to the mid 1800s when the BC Gold Rush acted as a catalyst to bring European immigrants to British Columbia.
The house is very private and surrounded by the beautiful temperate rain forest of BC. There is a creek that flowed across the back of the property.
We spent most of our time eating in the outdoor covered patios, drinking around the fire and playing lawn games.
On our last day my immediate family took a quick trip to the Hell’s Gate Air Tram. The kids enjoyed running across the suspension bridge over the Fraser River and watching the raging waters pump through the narrow channel. There was a gold panning and fisheries exhibit. The observation decks had awe inspiring views in every direction. Katie was free because she was under 6. Seeing as how I’ve already publicly admitted to other criminal wrong doings, I’ll double down and disclose I also lied about Jett’s age to get him in at no cost. Otherwise kids are $33 each and adults $37.
I would like to issue a formal apology to the owner of this stunning property, Kal, on behalf of my grandmother, Genevieve Boyes. The woman is a clepto. She always has been. Your collection of Betty Boop trinkets was too much for the little 88 year old woman to resist. She stole at least one mug that I know of. There was some salt and pepper shakers that I scolded her for taking and she put back…. but I’m pretty sure it was just an act to get me out of her crime scene so she could go back to thieving. I appreciate you being so sweet to her when we were leaving. Grandma was full of compliments on your exquisite property. This was a trick. Don’t trust that woman for one second around 1930’s paraphernalia.
MAY 2021
KIDS AGES: 5 and 7
paRty of 4 